BDsM stands for Bondage Domination Discipline submission sadism Masochism
BDsM is a term used for a wide variety of kinks and "not normal" lifestyles. Most people enjoy some of the kinks but do not think of themselves as BDsM people.
BDsM kinks include
bondage
domination and submission
discipline
sadism - masochism... sexual and non-sexual
spanking
pony and puppy play
age play
role play
humiliation
and a lot more.
BDsM is stereotyped as the leather, chains, whips and abuse. It may or may not involve these items at all and there are lots of area in BDsM from mild to extreme, most will not fit everyone, but fits someone.
BDsM is more than sex and kinks. It’s about control, pleasing and serving.
BDsM requires a person to be open minded as what is pleasing, satisifying, accepted by O/others may not be to them.
The following are references that have been found useful or fun to review. We do not guarantee accuracy. As with a lot of information on the internet, it may be opinion not factual.
Castle Realm - Lord Colm and His submissive jade information site
asubmissivesjourney
BDsM Wiki NOT ACTIVE
bestslavetraining
Wiki - BDsM
This the fundamental principal of BDSM. All kinks have this element in some form. It is how BDsM differs from vanilla (normal) relationships.
A Dom and sub get pleasure out of having control or releasing control in a variety of tasks, not just sex.
all get satification from releasing control
all should have intense desire to please and serve.
Submissives have limits
Slaves do not have limits. A slave allows the Master to control everything, including limits.
Bottoms may or may not have limits. They could be a sex slave or a sex submissive.
It is normal for one to be a submissive to Most and a slave to One or Few.
It is ok for a sub to only want to server specific Dom's. They don't need to serve all; they just need to be polite and respectful.
All are Dominates
Doms are Male Dominates
Dommes are Female Dominates
Top is a Dominate only during sexual activities
Master owns/has submissives/slaves/bottoms
Typically Dom’s are addressed as Sir or Mr and Domme’s as Ma`am or Mrs, unless in public and they want to remain unknown
Dominate/Mentor/Protector
The difference between these can be a blur.
Mentor
One who assists another in study
Usually a well-versed Dominant helping a submissive understand the lifestyle and their role in it
A Mentor guides another to achieve knowledge, not a teacher.
Protector
One who a sub can turn to to assist with issues with a Dom or their Dom at the beginning of Ownership.
More Info
Dominate vs Mentor
Mentoring and Protecting
Daddy Dom
The word Daddy is sometimes looked at odd and is misunderstood.
Daddy
another word for Master, typically more Caring and Nuturing
Commonly used when the submissive is a lil girl or lil princess type.
Orginated from Leather Daddy, not Father/daughter relationship
More Info -
Daddy Dom vs Traditional Dom
Some keep their BDsM activities confined to sex only.
These are known as Tops and bottoms
The Top has control and the bottom releases it during sexual activity.
Some keep their BDsM activities confined to on-line only.
Some bring their BDsM activities fully into their daily lives.
Some keep their BDsM activities secret only letting a select few know.
Some are very open about their BDsM activities.
There is no right or wrong. Its what works for the person.
Scening is usage of a submissive. It can involve sexual acts, non-sexual acts, acts that appear to be punishment and more. It is for the pleasure and enjoyment of the Dom. It is critical that a submissive know if something is Punishment or a Scene. Most things on-line are Scenes.
submission is not something demanded of a sub. It is theirs to give as they choose.
A Dom/me should always ask any sub/slave their limits before engaging in a scene with them.
If a sub does not wish to serve a Dom/me, they should politely and respectfully indicate that in pm. If it is not accepted, contact an Op or say it in the room.
Remember -- submission is a gift that a sub/slave gives. It is not something demanded of them. If they do not wish to serve a Dom/me they should politely and respectfully indicate that.
Punishment is given when a submissive breaks rules or expectations.
It is to train, correct, teach and break bad habits.
It is done out of love and caring for the submissive to make them as the Dominate wants.
The sub should be taught and know how or what it should do before it is Punished.
It is the Dominates responsiblity to punish.
Most Dominates dislike punishing.
Punishment differs from Scening as the Dominate should tell the submissive they are being punished and why.
Punishment can be various things
Physical - spanking, paddling, caning, whipping, etc.
Non-Physical - time outs, alone time, corner time, kneeling, etc.
Tasks - extra duties and tasks i.e. cleaing
Writing or Reading
Punishment is anything that helps correct/teacher/re-enforce and causes the sub to think about what occurred.
collars are symbols of Ownership and commitment much like Wedding and Engagement rings.
on line collars are indicate by {}, ||, []
some owned submissives are allowed to scene, some are restricted. Ask what their limits and restrictions are before hand.
a sub/slave should always address a Dom/me as Sir, Ma`am, Mr, Mrs, Ms.
collared sub/slaves will address their Owner as designated by their Owner and do as their Owner instructs and allows.
sub/slave should address their Owner as Master or Daddy or other as directed by their Owner
Owned Sub/slaves will always wear their Master’s collar unless told otherwise.
Sub/slave is owned until released by their Master.
An Owner’s needs, wants and pleasure are a submissive’s main concern. This includes their health and safety as they can’t please if sick or not safe.
Sub/slave will obey all rules set by their Master. Failure to do so, will lead to punishment.
A Master should always protect, cherish and love their sub/slave/bottom.
sub/slave/bottom should always feel safe, secure, and loved.
Every Dom/sub relation is unique. What might work between one couple..or between one Dom/sub will not work for the other. Learn to respect this fact, and therein lies the happiness of the BDSM relation
a sub/slave's nick should begin with a lower case letter.
a Dom/me's nick should begin with a Capital letter.
pronouns can be used (he, she, they, us, you, etc.).
When referring to a Dom/me the first letter should be capitalize.
When referring to a sub the first letter should be lower case.
When referring to both Dom/mes and subs the first letter should be both upper and lower case like A/all.
The order of precendence to address/respond to mulitple people is - Dom, Domme, girl, boy.
Story of O (Download - https://archive.org/stream/TheHistoryOfO/the%20history%20of%20O_djvu.txt)
Fifty Shades of Grey (trilogy)
Emmanuelle
The Marketplace (Series - The Marketplace; The Slave; The Trainer; The Academy; The Reunion; The Inheritor)
The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by Anne Rice
The Secretary
The Pet